5 Minutes

December 15 – 5 Minutes: Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

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·         I essentially was a producer/marketer/actor in a company with three other uber-talented theatre artists.

·         Performed in Death and the Ploughman

·         Performed in John Gabriel Borkman

·         Performed in Picasso at the Lapin Agile

·         Continued learning more about social media and its integration in theatre

·         DCI Finals 2010

·         Phantom Regiment 2010

·         “Sneaking” off to NYC

·         Seeing some incredible theatre (and some not-so-great)

·         The general ebb and flow of relationships and communication

·         #SNOMG 2010

·         Driving off to Rochester at 2 in the morning, getting Iron Man and a ton of Pizza Rolls, then driving back to homebase, and watching said movie along with eating said food.

·         Auditioning for grad schools in February

·         The Lost series finale

·         Mumford & Sons concert

·         Reverb10 project

Appreciation

December 14 – Appreciate. What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year? How do you express gratitude for it? (Author: Victoria Klein)

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One thing I flop between truly, truly appreciating and taking for granted is the fact that I am a working actor. I have been ever since graduating in 2009, and it has been a wonderful, trying experience. For all the griping I may do (and it's not on this blog), it's one thing I have to put in perspective. And at the end of the day, I am grateful for this fact.

I'm also appreciative of the community of support through friends and family--especially as we communicate online. It has been rewarding and fascinating.

I appreciate friends who I may not be in touch with over a long stretch of time. THEN, all of sudden, we may meet or chat on the phone and it's as if no time as passed at all. This amazes me every time, and I love it.

I also appreciate the new Trader Joe's in Rochester.

Action

This entry (and all others with the "reverb10" tag) are part of a collective project called Reverb 10. Each day, a new prompt is provided by a different author. The prompts are all about reflecting on the year, feeling out any reverberations from that year, and seeing how they will manifest for 2011. I'm a bit behind, but I'm nearly caught up.

December 13 – Action When it comes to aspirations, it’s not about ideas. It’s about making ideas happen. What’s your next step? (Author: Scott Belsky)

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The big step is to go to Chicago in February and audition like a madman for grad schools. The steps needed for that to happen are falling in line.

Immediate ones are:

• Get some more headshots printed
• Work on monologues (and find a couple more, perhaps)
• Schedule some more private auditions
• Finalize travel plans

These things are going to happen. 

Now, getting into grad school is a whole other ballgame. But I’ve done this audition process before, and I know I can do it again and even better this time around.

I’ve got contingency ideas hovering around in my head, but I’m not going to dwell on those right now. It’s a bit of a battle. It’s my hungry pragmatism (that I’m grateful for but could do away with every now and then).

Body Integration

December 12 – Body Integration This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body? Did you have a moment where there wasn’t mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present? (Author: Patrick Reynolds)

This happened on and off during my performances this year. A couple of them just felt so ON and freeing and wonderful.

This has happened off stage as well, mind you. I can think of one particular performance of Death and the Ploughman along with some isolated performances of Picasso at the Lapin Agile (not sure about Borkman, for some reason).

I could elaborate, but I’m still playing catch up on this project. So that’s all for now.

Eliminating 11 Things in 2011

December 11 – 11 Things What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011? How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life? (Author: Sam Davidson)

     

1.  Clothes I don't wear.
2.  Books I don’t read (or won’t read)
3. Credit Card Debt
4. Stuff under my bed
5. The clutter under/around my desk
6. General clutter at my office cube
7. Not having Netflix
8. Complicated articulation
9. The need for everyone to like me
10. Passive input
11. Something else

THOUGHTS ON ACTING ON THE ELIMINATION

I think I’ll start by a big purge/cleaning come the first of the year. I do a fairly decent job of cleaning up the general mess in my room on a weekly basis, but there are disorganized piles accumulating around the perimeter.

Credit Card Debt will be a bit trickier. I’m going to need to make a better plan of chipping away (along with my loans) in a more focused way (the word of 2011).

I was hoping to make this list that is solely tangible and manageable—but it was hard to come up with 11 things. Something like item “Complicated Articulation” is difficult to throw out just point blank. But it’s something I realize more and more. I have a need to soften the extremes of language. In dealing with people, you have the candor running in the back of your mind that is tempered with the careful and respectful language I’d like to use when dealing with people (especially in terms of criticism). My problem is that I have a hard time forming opinions and arguing them. Hence, this term I’ve just sort of made up called “complicated articulation.” (Which is complicated in its own right.)

Reverb 10 is messing with my idea of how much I should just stop and outright change things (in a bold, drastic manner).

This prompt is a little “resolution-y” to me (not necessarily a bad thing). The tricky thing about resolutions is that people create huge goals that cannot be fulfilled in the span of a month. It’s this major a year-wide hope OR it creates goals that have no measurable outcome. So I’m debating how drastic a list like this needs to be. I’m trying to be sensible about what I can do in this round of elimination. But I wonder if I may be tipping too far on one end of the scale.

Passive Input is another nag I’d like to shake away.

This is most directly linked to web content I view. I read a lot of blogs, articles, quips, and things online (and off). Some of it is simply for kicks and laughs. Other of it is incredibly useful information.

My problem is that I read it, scan it once and then usually forget about it. The nature of my work in social media, marketing, and theatre involves a fast-paced social aspect on the web. Often the content is just for general education. Sometimes it can have a real, direct impact in my life, or I can use it to change something about how I do things as an actor or use social media with theatre marketing. I want to eliminate passive input and charge it with active interaction. This may mean writing more comments, providing advice from my perspective and creating more of my own content.

Another thing it may require is some careful reflection. 

Why does this particular photo, entry, whatever strike me? Why does it interest me? Do I agree with this point of view? Can I contribute any qualifying information? This will help guide to more focused and purposeful viewing. It will also strengthen and build a greater network.

I’m in this transitional period where I want to stop thinking like this humble student and start working credibility about being an “expert” or leading professional in my field. This doesn’t stop the learning, but it does require an attitude shift.

Additionally, if something isn’t useful to me (in terms of all of this content online—this noise), I need to eliminate it.

One trend I’m seeing with a lot of Twitter users whom I value is they are now keeping their followers to a very tight group of people. When I first started using Twitter in a “marketing” sense, the mantra was “follow those who follow you.” Which is a nice gesture, but it’s not the best advice in the world when you think about it. It’s not about numbers and popularity, it’s about the quality of the relationship. So I can keep subscribing to all of these REALLY USEFUL blogs, or following all these fascinating people, but it’s NONE of it is going to be any use to me if I keep scanning or ignoring the content and leaving it behind to accumulate with all the other noise in cyberspace.

Wisdom

December 10 – Wisdom. What was the wisest decision you made this year, and how did it play out? 

I’ll come back to this one. I have to think about it for a while.

I can’t quite think of any major life decisions I made. I’m still kind of waiting to see what will come of some that I have decided on (mostly in terms of job/profession stuff).

There are other decisions we make all the time.

I think I’ve made a conscious decision to be more frank with people. But it’s been nebulous territory and wasn’t any clear choice I made. This quality does come at the risk of hurting feelings and telling people stuff they don’t want to hear. It’s uncomfortable and difficult, but I have to believe that it’s better than just being a wet noodle.

How’s that for a vague answer?

Party Promt

December 9 – Party Prompt: Party. What social gathering rocked your socks off in 2010? Describe the people, music, food, drink, clothes, shenanigans.

Going to the Mumford and Sons concert this spring was fantastic. This wasn’t a traditional party, but this was an event I recall quite fondly for this year. I guess it was a party--one with hundreds of strangers.

I met up with my friend J. We waited in line in the rain to get to the venue (the Varsity Theatre in Dinkytown). I could feel a great buzz with the crowd. We were with some of the luckiest people who had scored tickets. The concert sold out in under an hour.

People were trying to buy tickets for an exorbitant amount of money. The desperation in their eyes was palbable. I felt a bit sorry for them, but I was not going to give up my ticket.

The venue was excellent. It’s an open space with a mezzanine surrounding the perimeter. Some plush couches and chairs were scattered around the edges. Funky chandliers hung from the ceiling. This place is hip.

This place also didn’t have any ventilation.

So it was a hot, sweaty mess. Remember, we’re basically all soaking from the rain. Without any air conditioning or even fans, the elements are a bit against anyone enjoying the concert. Too bad it was fantastic.

I have rarely felt like I have been a part of a collective that has ridden the same energy wave. I don’t go to a lot of concerts, mind you. But I’ve been part of plenty of large-group gatherings. I go to theatre, attend different concerts. I suppose the only thing that can come close to this kind of energy bubble was marching with Phantom Regiment. Even then, this sense of ensemble and connection was fleeting.

In any case, Mumford and Sons tore the place up. I think as an audience, we gave them as much of a show as they did for us. And then the cycle of energy kept spinning back and forth. This is the kind of thing you crave as a performer. It’s a symbiotic relationship. Sends you spinning in a trance.

I want to be clear I had only had a beer or two. Before we start to wonder if there were any other influences…

The clarity of their performance was infectious. Their music is blazing across the globe, and it’s easy to see why. It’s a formative, touchstone band for me. It’s a little weird to say that since I’ve only known about them for a year, but I’m confident that they will be one of those bands I’ll always turn to no matter what. The lyrics are beautiful, simple and complex. The harmonies are a blast. The plucking and jamming is impossible not to groove to. Experiencing it live brings all of that to an exponential growth.

I hope to see them again soon.

It was a party I’ll never forget.

Beautifully Different | Riveting

December 8 – Beautifully Different. Think about what makes you different and what you do that lights people up. Reflect on all the things that make you different – you’ll find they’re what make you beautiful

Reflect on ALL THE THINGS THAT MAKE [ME] DIFFERENT?!

You kidding me?

I read someone’s random post about this and how bogus and superficial it seems. This answer requires a lot of comparisons to other people and judging others. I’m not saying that I don’t do this kind of thing (I am human, afterall).

So I’m going to answer with something so utterly cliché, I’m nearly embarrassed to write it:

I’m me. And that’s all.

I’ll leave this post with something that I really appreciate.

I took a short auditions class this past month and one mantra the instructor repeated is:

“YOU ARE ALL RIVETING.”

His main reason for saying this is that many actors go into auditions and put up a lot of masks. They may have a nervous tic they do with their hands, their face, their voice. They put on personas to keep whoever they are hidden. Acting and auditioning requires a sensitive vulnerability and some major guts. His aim is to wipe all the artifice away and present ourselves to an audition.

Because who I am is the most fascinating thing I can present be in an audition.

This is useful to take into the big ol’ world. No one said this is easy. In fact, it’s incredibly difficult. But I’m starting to recognize actors and people who understand they are riveting. There’s a poise and confidence embedded with humility and love that creates a compelling and fully-realized person. It’s about not comparing yourself to anyone else. Because ultimately, that’s selfish. This self-consciousness that people worry about is a form of selfishness.

This whole business is—to quote my instructor again—is simple. It’s not easy, but it’s simple.

This is all strangely comforting. I’m going to keep this handy for a while, I think.

I don’t think I’ve quite mastered it. But I’m starting to revel in this notion that I am who I am.

I am riveting.

You are riveting.

We all be riveting.